Why do children need to work at home?

I am often asked about the purpose of homework at Prep level, and more specifically why it cannot just be completed at school?

These are very good questions. Family life is on the one hand so precious that it is a nuisance if it is marred by a daily battle over ‘school’ work, however, if children wait until their GCSE years to study beyond the classroom clearly there will be some fundamental issues with their ability to succeed.

A balance is needed, and this is what schools try to address, always understanding that some children will not have been able to manage the work for a variety of reasons or circumstances, that some will have had a great deal of help and support and that others will have simply got on and done it, sometimes well and sometimes perfunctorily. This means that teachers are setting work every day that has to be stimulating but well defined, challenging but independently manageable, meaningful practice without too many twists, not too dull or repetitive, allows for proper learning and retaining, not essential for the next lesson for those who will not be able to complete it, progressive for those who need stretching and extendable for those who have further interests and enthusiasm. On the other hand the homework diet cannot all be cakes and treats, sometimes it may seem very routine, too easy or too hard, over long or unpalatable, but that too is part of preparing for life.

Naturally this is a complex set of variables, and whereas some children thrive on exercises and assignments, others find their enthusiasm wanes when faced with work to complete on their own. Learning homework is often viewed as no homework and increasingly, as it is fitted around external clubs, lessons and events, reading is confined to the last few minutes before bed – never a very good time to do anything that requires thinking!

I am all too familiar with the headache of homework sessions. I remember my frazzled mother standing over the table where my siblings and I were pretending to work each evening, and I regularly supervise my niece and nephews in their efforts to wriggle away from the mountain of things they bring home. However, I also see how the routines help to create an atmosphere and a system that works for them, and how well the children can work when they are settled. Independence is very important, so training children to have those study skills and the resilience and perseverance needed to complete activities will pay dividends in the future. Learning homework may well need help, and I am a big fan of using non-fiction books to help with information gathering, and these can be read together if there is time, to help to broaden the subject at hand.

On some occasions every child will say they don’t know how to do the work in front of them, and sometimes this might even be genuine! My advice would be to put a note on the bottom to the teacher, saying just that, and stop. Confusion of methods and frustration at mum and dad turning into teachers is not conducive to happy family life, and the teachers are there to help. If your child is too overwrought or too tired to work well then you should stop. Put a note in the book and go and do something relaxing. If the purpose of homework is to develop good work habits then consider carefully what those might be (I suggest a few below), and if what is happening is not reinforcing those positive skills then there is little point continuing until you want to throw the whole lot into the bin too!

Looking at the work you can usually see that the purpose is one or more of the following:

1. To reinforce work that has been taught and needs practising in order to increase speed and accuracy or remember and retain the skills and knowledge – this work may not be very exciting!

2. To enhance knowledge and understanding by extending something taught, or providing resources for further or richer understanding – this may be quite open ended and time consuming.

3. To allow time to reflect on concepts or topics, or just to finish an extended piece of work – this may require proper consideration of presentation and a bit of thinking and reflection time.

4. To develop independent skills and good life long work habits which include perseverance, meta cognition (coming to a realisation which work styles work best for herself), self-motivation, time management, determination, pride in presentation and content, satisfaction with completion.

You can help by

·         Providing a regular place where work can be completed undisturbed, with good light, plenty of space and a reasonable time limit

·         Providing a routine time, probably after a light snack and a chance to move around after the rigours of a very busy school day

·         Helping to signal that homework is not a punishment and can be rewarded!

·         Offering advice, but not too much assistance

·         Helping to prioritise what needs to be done (I recommend doing the horrid bit first, taking a moment for praise and then moving on to complete the rest)

·         Trying to keep the evenings as uncluttered with extra events as possible. Limiting out of school clubs to weekends when possible.

·         Making sure siblings are not too distracting, and when your child has good habits, allowing her to work away from others or away from your direct supervision, so that she knows that you trust her developing work habits.

·         A quick check at the end that everything is done, sufficient high standards have been retained and that the bag is repacked with everything required for the next day

Of course all of this assumes that your child has organised her belongings and has all of the things she needs to just to get on – but that obviously is the subject of a whole blog!!

Happy homeworking!

Why Teach Life Skills?

Teaching life skills to children is obviously one of the key points of family life! Every child benefits not only from ‘nuts and bolts’ skills such as learning to dress, using cutlery and organising belongings, but also from fundamental interpersonal skills that will enable them to get on with others, develop a sense of place in the world and a sense of proportion, to be able to handle conflicts and to be resilient and robust in the face of unexpected (or even expected) challenges.

Schools obviously help with these types of skills, as children are likely to face other children and complexities at school, away from parental guidance far more, and it is important for them to have these skills supported, modelled and scaffolded as they develop in judgement and confidence. However, there are some skills that need to be explicitly addressed in order to develop children who are equipped to manage how to become incredible people in society. This may be academic, or they may be skills of judgement and discernment – either way they need to be identified, taught and practised.

One of my own ‘hobby horses’ is the teaching of basic first aid, allowing children to develop skills to act in a crisis. I believe this allows them to consider others with compassion, to have a sense of their responsibility towards others, to feel confidence by having useable knowledge, and along the way to have a really meaningful education about the essential organs of the body so that they can understand good health and how their body works. The St John Ambulance runs a course for this to use with ‘Young Carers’ and at Notre Dame Preparatory School this is followed by all Year 6 pupils, culminating with certification, and teams put forward to the national competition.

Swimming is another essential life skill, not only for saving lives, but allowing for the pleasure of free movement underwater, something of lifelong benefit to those who become less fit over time for a host of reasons.

One of the other, often overlooked life skills is the ability to view your own self objectively, and without too much seriousness. From this comes the ability to apologise meaningfully and to offer and accept forgiveness with light-heartedness. These are just a few examples.

If you had to seek out a friend in a crisis of your own, a physical or an emotional one, what capital would you look for in terms of skills? Who could you turn to? How can you equip your child to be the person who can help? Real education, both at home and at school, needs to address these questions very carefully.

Is The Internet Safe For Children?

There are two quick answers to this: Yes and No.

Yes, if the children can be directed to use safe sites. Yes, if they know that they should never give out their own personal information. Yes, if they learn to check with or inform an adult if they are in doubt. However, for many children the internet presents a tempting maze which means they easily forget the rules, or it seduces them to follow links that may take them to inappropriate places. So, No, if they are not trained in the best ways to do research and use information. No, if they proceed without understanding the risks at their own level. No, if they are left unsupervised, as dealing with potential risks requires a level of sophistication that a child simply does not have the maturity to understand.

The virtual world seems safe to children, as safe as being at home or at school where the magical portal physically exists, and furthermore it is colourful, exciting, apparently child friendly and full of possibilities. They do not realise that it is also populated with biased or incorrect information and people who are looking for their contact for advertising or other less suitable purposes. They don’t realise they are being solicited as customers for sponsored sites or that there may be far better child friendly information available through certain sites such as the brilliant Usborne quicklinks (www.usborne.com/quicklinks/eng/default.aspx). They don’t understand the potential of unkind contact or cyberbullying until it happens to them. The virtual world seems less real and therefore the risks seem detached.  

Children, by their very nature are curious and enthusiastic. It is tempting for them for example, to type their own names, or yours, into Google to see what appears – it is potentially a harmless activity after all – but what happens if they find a person or a site that is not suitable? It is simply not helpful to ban the looking up of anything or everything, instead it is better to be frank with them that they might find things that are not appropriate and that they should call you and explain what they have seen. They will also understand that this enables other children to be protected. At Notre Dame Prep School we have a ‘safe surf’ program that eliminates inappropriate words or images, but children often don’t consider the reasons for this and have been heard to say “Oh, I will try that site again at home”. We teach them the risks and hope they remember, but they do need your help at home, where they often feel the restrictions and rules are different.

As often as possible schools revisit the safety issues, and reiterate that personal information should be kept private, and that it would be foolish to trust someone on any site that they cannot see but still the dangers seem remote to them. I strongly recommend that everyone should watch this fantastic BBC Newsround film created for families: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgCNGvL0g1g, which will help you, as well as your children, to understand more about the social complexities of the technological world they live in.

Cyberbullying is referred to at school, and children are encouraged to understand that writing an unkind email or texting a negative message is not only wrong, but an activity that is potentially criminal in the wider world and will not be tolerated. Most understand, but the medium is so available and immediate, that it can be tempting after a minor spat with friends (for any of us) to put frustrations or retaliation into writing and hit ‘send’. All of this needs to be talked through regularly and calmly so that the actions of a moment, so hastily committed, don’t create further conflicts or unhappiness.

In summary, I believe that the internet is a fantastic tool for all. Used with appropriate safeguards (e.g. safe surfing controls for children), adequate supervision (not everything can be caught by the filters – imagine the range of materials you might see for the word ‘schoolgirl!’) and training in how to find the right sort of material targeted at the right age, the internet is brilliant. But as ever, education is everything. Keep reminding your children about safety, take nothing for granted, check up on them regularly, look at the search history and talk to them about what they are doing and what they are seeing, especially if you think it might be something unsuitable or risky. In short, help them to develop better internet behaviours that will be useful to them for many years.

Safe surfing!