Childhood might be a time when children have an inalienable right to have fun, to be carefree, to be supported regardless of what they do or say, to get away now and again with avoiding doing what they are told, to be allowed the freedom to develop independence, to have you fight their battles for them, to have showered upon them the things that you may not have had in your childhood.
I am a great believer in the universal rights of the child, and of a proper happy childhood, but here is my bill of additional rights that I believe educators and parents should also bear in mind:
· The right to a good night’s sleep – so yes, make them go to bed at whatever time this needs to be to stop yawning and confusion.
· The right to be prepared for the next day at school – so help them sort their things out before bed and go through with them what might be happening and what they might need to have packed.
· The right to understand that their actions have consequences, not next time, but this time – and a discussion to help them understand what to do next time, and not just a punishment that creates resentment.
· The right to learn to work hard, in order to achieve what they are capable of, but without the handicap of excuses that hinder their progress rather than help.
· The right to be rewarded for the good things they do and say, but not too generously - some of these things they should be doing anyway. Helping at home and displaying good manners shouldn't require payment!
· The right to hear "yes", when their requests are reasonable and the right to hear "no" when they are not, to help them to make sense of their place in the world.
· The right to become increasingly responsible for the things in their lives; with your support and with appropriate age related scaffolding.
· The right to have another go, have a fresh start and to be given the benefit of the doubt. Going over old negative ground can set up a pattern of undesireable behavour rather than changing them.
· The right to be listened to 'with a pinch of salt', to help children to understand that their versions of the truth may not be the most accurate perspective on an event.
These rights may seem counterintuitive in some ways they don’t represent the easiest course of action in a busy day, and they will need to be part of a consistent approach. But they will help each child to realise that she is one among many, that she has amazing potential, but that her gifts and talents will be wasted if she is not able to use them well and wisely.
The school and the home, together, should enable each child to learn to hold her own, to have friends, to be happy, to start to take responsibility for her own independent self and for her work.
The great news is that the educational process is not a quick fix, and therefore there are many years to work towards the perfect adult we would like each child to be. It is like making sourdough bread, or fine wine, it takes time, it takes expertise and it takes effort on the part of us all, including your children.
To hear more about this, within the context of my own school please click on the video link below to hear me speaking to parents at a welcome evening.
