“Oh,
I’ve quit,” is one of the most disheartening, and sadly one of the most common
things that teachers have to hear from their pupils. Usually it is in regard to
a voluntary club or activity, which the teacher has given up time to organise,
and which the child is at liberty to join or to leave at will, but sometimes it
is about reading a book, undertaking a project or belonging to a group. No
child would be pushed into continuing indefinitely with an activity (especially
if causing misery or proving to be too difficult) but the casualness of taking activities
on that become superseded by other ones on a shifting and regular basis needs
careful thought and management. We live in an era of choices, of trying things
for size and of changing our minds based on a whim. Whilst it may not be wise
to take on things such as learning an expensive instrument untried, there is a
balance, and all of life cannot be simply based on what we feel like doing
today, and not doing tomorrow. This is also important if we are to have due
regard and respect for the other people involved in the activity, and the leader
or coach who spends time and effort organising it, and putting aside time for
others rather than putting themselves first.
On
the radio this morning I heard about a cathedral that was cutting its
professional choir by a third to save money. As I know something about music I
realised before the presenter did that the choir would be unable to perform
adequately and would soon be thought of as something that was not successful
enough to warrant existing at all. It set me off thinking about commitment,
because keeping up any activities in the school where I am Head is a juggling
act of keeping pupils focused and on task, enjoying themselves and understanding
their contribution to the whole. Not every second can be fun, but the
collaboration, co-operation and learning that takes place in these activities
is second to none, and is indeed often better training for being successful in
the future than working under direction in lessons. Added to which orchestras,
drama clubs, choirs, sports squads, training clubs, reading circles and even my
own philosophy club cannot continue when each week another child sends a curt
message saying: “I’ve quit”. New joiners are always welcome, but they cannot be
encouraged and developed if the rest of the group fluctuates and there is a
sliding scale of popularity week by week affecting whether the club is required
or desired at all.
In my
opinion commitment is one of the most important values we can share in life. Commitment
holds the key to so many relationships in life: to our nearest and dearest, to
the organisations we join and continue to support, to the jobs we undertake, to
our work ethic, our interests, and to all of the other people we accompany on
our day to day journeys. Some commitments are about obligation – tax returns
and bills are commitments we cannot avoid – others are about the way we take
our place in life, balancing the needs of the many societies and people with
whom we circulate each day – and other commitments about our own choices and
preferences. Commitment engenders trust and achievement, and this is something
that makes life feel worthwhile. Commitment is the thing that enables
belonging, purpose and friendship. It also plays a pivotal role in how other
people view, judge and value us.
In my
school the teachers have a commitment to the education of the children. They
exercise this commitment in front of their classes, but also into the late
hours spent planning, marking and organising for their lessons and in liaison
with others for the purpose of sharing good practice and developing expertise. They
develop committed relationships with the children in their care, on the one hand
instructing, guiding and teaching and on the other the essential social and
spiritual nurturing, and accompanying that helps children to grow. They create partnerships
with parents so that children’s learning is holistic and backed up at home for
consolidation. Beyond this each teacher has a commitment to the wellbeing of
the children in the whole school and the care of each other. All staff run
extra-curricular clubs (often several) to extend the educational experiences of
the pupils, and all share in the daily duties in care of the children. They
remain committed to the Mission of the school and to the future of each of the
young people, regardless of how long or short lived that relationship might be.
If it sounds grand and idealistic that is unapologetic: a commitment to a
school and its pupils, especially in a faith environment, is not a light 8.30am
– 4.10pm workday-only commitment in line with payment and contract, it is far
more, encompassing heartfelt responsibility, generosity, compassion and sense
of purpose. The teachers take great joy, pride and care in what they do.
Hopefully,
with this level of care and commitment, and the love they receive in their
families, children will grow up to understand that commitment is partly about
duty, partly about contribution and partly about pleasure and enjoyment (often
from the collaboration and team effort as much as from the thing itself). Sometimes there is a great requirement for
personal commitment in order to feed back into the activity, such as music
practice or word learning, and although this may not be as much fun it is part
of the whole. Thus doggedness, resilience, self-motivation, desire to complete
things and a sense of personal achievement can all be earned and enhanced by
developing an understanding of commitment.
So I cannot
help but worry when I see so many children who believe that success means seeing
results immediately, and thus failure is also instantaneous, and prefer to
avoid commitment in case it should not bear fruit, or because it has not borne
fruit soon enough. Many children want to participate in activities until it
impacts on their social lives, so children “quit for this week” simply because
they don’t fancy being included that day (a disaster for longer term goals that
take week on week rehearsal such as concerts or matches). Other children only
want to participate if the activity carries some kudos, so that a first team
place is snatched with glee, but a place in squad is declined as unimportant,
despite the fact that teams can only be made up from those who learn and
improve through practising. Elite activities are good eventually, but nobody
can become Leader of the Orchestra without years of training individually and
in the back rows.
I
believe that loving conversations are the best way to help children understand
their need to be committed, to discriminate between natural selfishness and
proper decision making. Alongside this they need help to consider respect for
others involved with them in their activities and the people who strive for
their enjoyment and fulfilment by organising events for them. An extra week
before “quitting” or being expected to speak to the person in charge
themselves, to say why they wish to give up are also good ways to develop good
manners and a sensible approach to participation. I probably suffer from an
overdeveloped sense of duty, but with it has come deep satisfaction with having
joined and benefited from many clubs and activities, including working through
the boring or sticky patches and being able to participate happily even when I
haven’t really been particularly good at whatever it is. I have also experienced
great joy in wholehearted participation in many things, and the sense of
camaraderie, achievement and friendship that has grown through trusting
relationships is truly life enhancing. That is a life lesson for happiness I
would dearly love to share with all of our children. Instead of, “I’ve quit
it”, I would love to hear the children say, “I’ll stick with it!”
